It's Christmas Eve.

I wonder to myself sometimes, if I could ever spend a major holiday with the unattainable. I can jest and joke about it, but will it ever happen? Love isn't easy, and women aren't much better. So complicated, layered, delicate - a guy has to watch himself while trying to charm one. One wrong word - or one missed word - will devastate everything. I'm no Christian, but I know what happens on Christmas. Adults take days off of work to go back home. The kids, during the day, go out and have fun, then come back to eat. As the kids are out, the adults wrap and set the presents. During dinner, Christians (supposedly) say a prayer and feast 'till they pop. For the rest of us, we eat. Plain and simple. Next morning, the kids wake up at 5 in the morning and rip open their presents. America at its best. My focus of interest is what us kids do the morning of December 24th every year. Apparently, we go out and have fun at the mall, at each other's houses, or, in my case, hang out at the gym. Well, what if a kid wanted to break off from old traditions and spend time with the person he was courting? It wouldn't really work. You can't ask that person to break off from THEIR old traditions in order for you to break off from yours. I can take it slow, wait 'till the end of the year. Oh, but how my heart would ache, for that five months buckling in my emotion and attraction towards her. It takes godly patience. How long will it take for me to know whether the feeling is mutual or not - or even slightly mutual. I don't know how much she likes me, and it's tearing me apart. This is no soap opera or cheesy drama. This is my life, and I need to take control of it. I need to better myself for her, because there's always room for improvement. She can't possibly love me yet, as I've known her existence for longer than she's noticed mine. Only so many months ago she figured out who I was and how I behaved. I'm open with my emotions, when is she going to be with hers? I'm not rushing, but I await with bated breath for the day she tells me how she really feels about me, unafraid to hurt my feelings or her reputation. For this I long, and for this I work toward.

What we have learned:
1: Women are onions.
2: Chistmas is the SECOND most American holiday EVER (next to Thanksgiving, the holiday of eating and murdering/stealing from Native Americans).
3: Although openness may not be a problem for you, it might be for your potential lover.